First post to Xixax and plot review request

[The Biss]

I've been lurking this forum now for over a month, reading and getting ideas for a project I want to undertake. I'm very impressed with the community and the respect as artists and filmmakers that you have for each other. That's why I'm posting this plot idea up for your comments and criticisms.

I work with a group of youth who want to produce a short this summer to give to their friends at school on DVD. Here's what we came up with:

It's a world similar to yours and mine in every way. Life goes about as it has for years. (shot of children playing, all dressed in similar style. adults talking, once again dressed alike). Except in this world, a person's social status is not assigned to them by the color of there skin. No, instead it is given to you at birth by the type of clothes you're born with.

(The idea came to me when a collegue of mine mentioned that you "can't take it with you when your gone." Well what if you had it with you when you're born? How would that affect your life?)

Middle and lower income familes secretly wish at night in bed that their son or daughter is born with at least a sport jacket and tie, if not a tux or evening gown... which they've heard through rumor occasionally happens, though genetics make it highly unlikely.

The story begins when the ____________'s (insert uperclass name here) find themselves in the hospital for an ultrasound. The dr's face turns ashen and he flips offs the VCR on the ultrasound. Mr _______ asks what the problem is and notices then that the family cufflinks are missing from his son. Something is not right here.

Flash forward to delivery day. The baby is born with bloody jeans and a mucous covered t-shirt, which is promptly photodocumented by the state. The ________'s make a decision to put the baby up for adoption.

__________ grows up in an orphanage, reminded daily of what she could have had by the baby picture she keeps under the pillow. The unfairness of the situation is torturous for her as she gets older. She tries to scan in the picture and replace the clothes with that which she should have had.

(insert various cruelties that children perform on each other here)

As she gets older, she is arrested several times for trying to shop in places like Nordstrom and Sachs when clearly her ID card states that even Target is out of her league.

(Here I hit somewhat of the proverbial wall. I would like for her to be a Ghandi-esque figure and create inequality awareness in the caste that, unlike Ghandi, actually results in the "redemption" (?) of the society ie: Bill and Ted's playing of the worldwide concert in Bogus Journey. Any input here is VERY appreciated.)

[The Biss]

What if she went out in blaze-of-glory that raised attention to her cause? Flash forward 15 years to the opening shot of the children playing and adults talking, all wearing different kinds of clothing....

[Pubrick]

great idea. reminds me of Gattaca and 1984. so we're assuming the whole world is like that, like one big nation? and that they hav technology like scanning and the interweb.

i wouldn't go for that kind of ending tho unless u want to make it a comedy, nor necessarily a depressing one. first i would give Jack a group of friends, like other outsiders. are there genetic abnormalities that are born naked? if so, what are they classified as. if poor ppl hav rich kids can they live in the same house? maybe i wasn't paying attention, can the dude change clothes? if not then i see the clothes are basically like a second skin.

so yeah, i'd think there is sum underground movement however small, and that the next generation could be genetically altered by sumhow spiking the water supply or similar biological warfare, but not deadly cos it doesn't kill anyone it liberates them. the dude of course would be the first to try it out and his kid would be the first free baby. are u from the UK?

[The Biss]

It has a lot of the 1984 and Farenheit 451 feel to it certainly. Alternative universe..etc...

I like the idea of "Jack" being born naked. That would really throw a kink into the beaurocracy that has developed around this whole Jim Crow idea that social class is based on birthclothes. Maybe because the gov't doesn't know what to do with him, he is cast(e) off to the untouchable society.

And yes the clothes could be considered a second sin. I see that kind of attitude weekly here in the Southern US between blacks and whites. Whites are good... blacks are bad... unfortunately the stereotype still lives to this day.

Concerning changing clothes: The gov't is there at birth to photodocument the child. One of the reasons I would like Jack to stuggle with learning Photoshop is that he is trying to change his future by changing his past.

I read an article in this month's Nat'l Geographic which deals primarily with the Hindu untouchable caste. They wrote that even when people attempt to break out of the caste mold, their mannerisms and actions are often so based in the caste that they can be pinpointed fairly accurately even without proper paperwork.

Since I'm dealing primarily with jr and sn high school students here, the genetic mutation is a bit of a stretch. I'm not sure that they would have the kind of knowledge to create that technology by the age of 14. But there does need to be some sort of awakening/metamorphosis and dang if I can figure out how it should be.

And lastly, I'm from Wake Forest, NC... right outside of Raleigh.

[ReelHotGames]

I like the idea of "Jack" being born naked. That would really throw a kink into the beaurocracy that has developed around this whole Jim Crow idea that social class is based on birthclothes.

This makes a geat opening, a baby born naked. Which I think ideally sets up the Ghandi esque revelation you talk about.

How about when "JACK" is repeatedly arrested for trying to buy clothe at places out of his means, then he decides to live in the world the way he was born. Naked. And as he accepts this about himself, his confidece grows, and his ability to speak abotu the falshoods of clothes as social status creates awareness. As he makes people realize that when they take off their clothes they are all the same undeneath. Like him.

This creates a following and people start to shed their clothes, disrupting societies ideas.

You could hve a sequence where he is being interviewed on TV as he protests nude outside a large fancy store. As the dialogue and iterview carries over you see poeple in the privacy of their homes taking their clothes off, looking at themselves in the mirror, realizing they are more alike than they thought.

[Ghostboy]

I think these suggestions of nudity strengthen and clarify the concept -- go with it!

[chainsmoking insomniac]

I like the idea of "Jack" being born naked. That would really throw a kink into the beaurocracy that has developed around this whole Jim Crow idea that social class is based on birthclothes.

This makes a geat opening, a baby born naked. Which I think ideally sets up the Ghandi esque revelation you talk about.

How about when "JACK" is repeatedly arrested for trying to buy clothe at places out of his means, then he decides to live in the world the way he was born. Naked. And as he accepts this about himself, his confidece grows, and his ability to speak abotu the falshoods of clothes as social status creates awareness. As he makes people realize that when they take off their clothes they are all the same undeneath. Like him.

This creates a following and people start to shed their clothes, disrupting societies ideas.

You could hve a sequence where he is being interviewed on TV as he protests nude outside a large fancy store. As the dialogue and iterview carries over you see poeple in the privacy of their homes taking their clothes off, looking at themselves in the mirror, realizing they are more alike than they thought.

Taking this a step forward (I think your idea is terrific) the baby born naked could be the "Chosen One"...the doctor and her staff stare, wide eyed and mouths agape, as this "abnormality" comes sliding out of the mother.....

[The Biss]

Punchdrunk, I saw this scene in my mind's eye as well. It definately has a David Cronenberg feel about it. And while I have to admit that "The One" running around all "nekked" is pretty compelling, it begins to tread turbulent waters considering that <1> the majority of my cast is ages 12-16 and <2> the target market for this production is also 12-16 years old.

Maybe some creative editing ala Geoff Chaucer in A Knight's Tale could take some of the brunt... still I think that I will need to develop an alternative.

Maybe I'll start with two people talking in a coffee house...  

[chainsmoking insomniac]

Hey, it worked in Sydney.....

But if the main characters are that young, you might run into some problems.

[Pubrick]

what u might wanna do is make it a chick, then everybody's happy.  

[The Biss]

what u might wanna do is make it a chick, then everybody's happy.  

Heh, the state frowns upon actions like that, especially with 12-16 year olds.  



I'll ponder these thoughts tonight and let you know what ideas I come up with.

[Xixax]

Man, this sounds so great. I love it already.

[The Biss]

The youth came over to the house tonight and unanimously voted to forgo the "naked for life" scenario. Everyone did get a kick out of it, but I didn't have any voluteers for the title role of Naked Boy. In our conversations and in our script we're going to call him Naked Boy until we figure out a name.

One of the more talented youth, Jeffery (don't call him Jeff) had been working on a plot that incorporated guess what... Genetic Engineering! In the alterna-world, 45 is a ripe old age, and 14 is considered manhood. Much like life here in the US at the turn of the 19th century. So in this world, we could have genetic engineers in 14 year old bodies.

Jeffery's plot was very creative and I'll try to document as much of it as I can remember here... for you guys and for me as a way of keeping track. I'll start it in a new post.

[The Biss]

In today's world, your social identification is your life. Your SID is given to you at birth; a photo ID that is your life. It tells you what the State will allow you to do, where you can go, who you can meet. Your shopping habits, eating, clothing styles... all determined by one thing. And I ought to know since I was there!

In the delivery room. A woman giving birth, a husband coaching and a doctor delivering a new baby. First the head, then shoulders... a perfect birth to the perfect family. Jr. is born wearing the family's genetic heritage; blue jeans and a t-shirt.

The doctor congratulates the excited family. Dad is very happy. He has a son to pass the family HVAC business to. A gov't agent steps into the light. Definate MIB type. He produces a old bellows style camera. Another agent is seen in the background chatting with a nurse and making notes on a PDA. The camera flash explodes in the baby's face as the screen burns to white.

--=roll intro credits and pans of babies in utero=--

I've documented thousands of births for the Bureau of Social Indentification. Chances are I may have been there when you were born. You can tell my early photography. It's not framed as well. Now this shot here (holds up new SID of most recent birth)... this is a beauty. Sorry if your card isn't as nice. In this line of duty, you only get one chance.

Agent returns home after a hard day with the BSI to his VERY pregnant wife. He has made arrangements to document his own son's birth and has asked for that to be his only assignment. After a difficult delivery, his son is born with a flash of the bellows camera... not with the customary necktie and oxford, but completely naked!

An outrage! There is nearly a smallscale riot in the delivery room. This has never happened before. The agent knows what will happen next. He'll have to report the birth and the child will become BSI property for study and dissection. The agent makes the hardest choice of his life and reports the birth as a stillborn. The poor baby is stowed in a dirty laundry bag and smuggled out of the hospital.

--=In a makeshift lab, a young man with red hair and bright eyes works.=--

Though obvioulsy only 13 or 14, he works with the speed and efficiency of a man twice his age. A member of the Segund society, this manner of job is at the top of his work classification, and he is greatful to have been offered the posiiton. He is however, the black sheep in a long line of service techs, repairmen,  and car salesmen. Is he too good for his station in life? His family cannot understand his choice in career or anything else for that matter. They say "He's tryin' to be too good for his own raisin'. Th' boy cain't even throw a football properly..."

More tomorrow...

[Just Withnail]

Are you still with us Bliss? Just letting you know I'm anxoiusly awaiting more details