do you give a hoot?

[pete]

I just started writing something, a short for this summer, and I'm just curious if you give a hoot so far, or if you think it's funny, or whatever.




              INT. BAR - LATE NIGHT

              Our hero quietly stumbles into the bar, it is late, and it is
              closing.  The only person hanging around seems to be the
              bartender/ owner himself.

                                  BARTENDER
                        Son, this bar is done.

                                  HERO
                        That's a joke right?

                                  BARTENDER
                        You'd be laughing if it was.  I'm
                        afraid it's the reality.  Come back
                        tomorrow night.  Early.

                                  HERO
                        There probably won't be a tomorrow
                        night.

                                  BARTENDER
                        Don't say that.  We have hot young
                        bartenders serving you drinks, and
                        all the great classy music to dance
                        to.

                                  HERO
                        Sounds attractive, but after
                        tonight, I'm done.  I'm fighting a
                        bunch of people tonight, they
                        exceed me in strength and number.
                        Not to mention their kungfu.

                                  BARTENDER
                        Their kungfu?

                                  HERO
                        Well, mainly just strength and
                        number, but not like it matters.

                                  BARTENDER
                        What are you going to do?

                                  HERO
                        I dunno, fight them.

                                  BARTENDER
                        Are you good?

                                  HERO
                        As I said, there probably won't be
                        a tomorrow night.

                                  BARTENDER
                        That sucks.

                                  HERO
                        For free booze and music, I'll
                        treat you with this story.

                                  BARTENDER
                        No free booze, but...

              He kicks the wall behind him, a guitar, hanging above him as
              a form of decoration (along with pictures and other rock
              memorabilia) falls right into his arms.  He begins strumming.
              Hamilton, Joe Frank and Reynold's "Don't Pull Your Love Out
              on Me Baby".

                                  HERO
                        Good enough.



              INT. MAKESHIFT GYM/ HERO'S BASEMENT - DAY

              Little sunlight shines through the basement, with a few
              traditional weapons leaning against the wall.  The hero
              surrounds himself with four wing chun dummies and four more
              punching bags, as he works his way around imaginary
              opponents.

                                  HERO (V.O.)
                        I'm a tuna fisherman by trade, and
                        as you know, next to meat-packing,
                        fire-fighting (God bless America)
                        and coal-mining, tuna-fishing, or
                        tuna hunting, as I'd like to call
                        it, is probably the most dangerous
                        legal profession amongst
                        industrialized nations.

                                  BARTENDER (V.O.)
                        What about a soldier?

                                  HERO (V.O.)
                        So as I was saying, due to the
                        lethal nature of my profession, not
                        to mention laziness, I only work
                        maximum of one month during the
                        entire year.  I therefore spend the
                        rest of my time cultivating my
                        hobby, which is martial arts in
                        this case.  I train for 8-hours a
                        day, usually against imaginary
                        enemies in non-specific situations.



              EXT. FISHING COMPANY - DAY

              The company sits on the side of a dock in a little fishing
              town.  Our hero walks out of the company with a wad of cold
              hard cash in his hands.

                                  BARTENDER (V.O.)
                        Do you get by with just a month
                        worth of tuna, maximum?

                                  HERO (V.O.)
                        Ever paid for sushi?



              INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

              The hero lays on the sofa watching TV, and an INFOMERCIAL
              COMES ON.  It endorses a sharp pocket knife.

              HERO's eyes light up.

that's all I have so far.

[jtm]

not bad.  got anymore to it yet?