Yayo - a web series pilot

Started by ©brad, April 04, 2013, 10:52:48 AM

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©brad

Anyone mind taking a look at this thing I'm working on? It's short, 12 pages. It's about a young coke delivery boy in New York City who can't get a date, loosely based on a real weed dealer I know. I want it to be light and fun and rom-comy and not really a drug gangster tale (at least not yet). Thanks in advance! 

Just Withnail

SPOILERS

Quote from: ©brad on April 04, 2013, 10:52:48 AM
I want it to be light and fun and rom-comy

It is! Especially funny things: the dad-of-the-date scene, the boyfriend coming back after the horny girlfriend just talked about him.

It's fast as fuck and that feels appropriate for the environment and character: he meets a ton of people, but they only need his drugs or his cock.  It's a great build-up to the last page turn, that hint of yearning for a relationship. I loved reading it. More!

©brad

Thanks man! Really really appreciate it.

I'm working on the next 2 episodes which will be shorter (3-5 minutes tops) and each focused on one delivery. Hard part now is casting. There's no shortage of good actors in New York but given how short some of the vignettes are, it's hard to find great people for roles than only span a few seconds.

Just Withnail

Send them over when you think they're readable!

But the characters will come back later won't they? So you can tease them with the opportunity of an entire episode at a future point.

And is that going to be the structure? One episode one delivery?

How are you financing it?

©brad

Quote from: Just Withnail on April 10, 2013, 04:36:17 PM
Send them over when you think they're readable!

But the characters will come back later won't they? So you can tease them with the opportunity of an entire episode at a future point.

Hah indeed! That's been my sales pitch. 

Quote from: Just Withnail on April 10, 2013, 04:36:17 PM
And is that going to be the structure? One episode one delivery?

That's the plan as of now. Part of it is practical purposes from a production standpoint, but I want to get to know his regular clients and I want them to be a broad cross-section of the city. I interviewed a coke dealer and was amazed how diverse his client base was. He was barely 21 and he had clients that spanned politics, Wall Street, rich NYU students, bored housewives. Guess it's not all that surprising really, but it was to my naive ears. I do like the idea of a character doing this because it gives him the ultimate back stage pass to the city and let's him mingle with people he normally wouldn't. 

Quote from: Just Withnail on April 10, 2013, 04:36:17 PMHow are you financing it?

Hah, well I wouldn't say I have legit financing. I work in advertising so I'm pulling in a lot of favors from a production company I shot some spots with. Again the only thing I'm missing is most of the cast. But we're plugging away.

pete

have you seen Gimme the Loot yet? It's got a couple of scenes about a hapless weed dealer developing a crush on a girl client.
"Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot."
- Buster Keaton

©brad

Quote from: pete on April 11, 2013, 09:34:33 PM
have you seen Gimme the Loot yet? It's got a couple of scenes about a hapless weed dealer developing a crush on a girl client.

No but I'm going to! Love the trailer, looks really sweet.

©brad


03

CBRAD! dude amazing!

got sucked in immediately to the guys universe, even though it was so short. the interactions were perfect for showing the guys personality, moreso than his narrative at the beginning. the shots of the city at night were beautiful and made me feel very comfortable and curious, the dimly lit apartments, i totally felt like i was there. i loved the back and forth with the dad, and the argument with the gay kid. it was just fantastic man, very proud of you.

best parts:
- "oh you have a zit" "get it, girl."
- revealing the frat dude as he walks away
- the pause before responding to the okcupid message at the end
- basically ALL the dialogue now that i think of it

Pwaybloe

That was really good. Loved the word balloons. Congrats.

©brad

Thanks you guys! Really really appreciate it.

Alexandro

enjoyed it a lot, loved the funny take on a dealer's life. the supporting players were awesome.
the only observation I have is with the music, which seems to never stop. there are moments when you can get rid of it and it works better both for when there is music and when there's not.

but yeah, great concept and humor. congrats, man.