Best Worst Dialogue

Started by MacGuffin, May 02, 2003, 02:31:56 PM

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MacGuffin

Bad movies should be forgettable, but for some reason they are so bad they stick in your mind for long after. That reason could be the terrible dialogue. What are some bits of dialogue that have stayed with you and pretty much sum up how horrible the movie is with these lines? Or are there lines from a favorite movie of yours that just make you cringe when you hear them and damper that part of the film for you?

I'll start us off with the prose from the film "Volcano":

Kids are playing rock, scissors, paper.
Kid 1: I win. Rock beats scissors.
Kid 2: Nuh, uh. I'm lava.
Kid 1: What beats lava?
Gabby Hoffman (dramatic pause; heroically): My dad.
"Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art." - Andy Warhol


Skeleton FilmWorks

RegularKarate

Padme: We used to come here for school retreat. We would swim to that island every day. I love the water. We used to lie out on the sand and let the sun dry us and try to guess the names of the birds singing.

Anakin: I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.

Redlum

Anakin: Are you an angel?
Queen Amidala: What?
Anakin: An angel. I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live on the moons of Iego, I think. They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe.
Queen Amidala: You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?
Anakin: I listen to all the traders and star pilots who come through here. I'm a pilot, you know, and someday I'm going to fly away from this place.
\"I wanted to make a film for kids, something that would present them with a kind of elementary morality. Because nowadays nobody bothers to tell those kids, \'Hey, this is right and this is wrong\'.\"
  -  George Lucas

Duck Sauce

Quote from: redlumAnakin: Are you an angel?
Queen Amidala: What?
Anakin: An angel. I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live on the moons of Iego, I think. They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe.
Queen Amidala: You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?
Anakin: I listen to all the traders and star pilots who come through here. I'm a pilot, you know, and someday I'm going to fly away from this place.


Shit beat me too it.

Does anyone have the scene from Signs where the military recruiter is talking to Joaquin Phoenix about baseball?

ShanghaiOrange

Colonel Tom Edwards: Why is it so important that you want to contact the governments of our earth?
Eros: Because of death. Because all you of Earth are idiots!
Jeff Trent: Now you just hold on, Buster.
Eros: No, you hold on! First was your firecracker, a harmless explosive. Then your hand grenade: you began to kill your own people, a few at a time. Then the bomb. Then a larger bomb: many people are killed at one time. Then your scientists stumbled upon the atom bomb, split the atom. Then the hydrogen bomb, where you actually explode the air itself. Now you can arrange the total destruction of the entire universe served by our sun: The only explosion left is the Solaranite.
Colonel Tom Edwards: Why, there's no such thing!

Air Force Captain: Visits? That would indicate visitors!

- From the Best Worst Movie Ever
Last five films (theater)
-The Da Vinci Code: *
-Thank You For Smoking: ***
-Silent Hill: ***1/2 (high)
-Happy Together: ***1/2
-Slither: **

Last five films (video)
-Solaris: ***1/2
-Cobra Verde: ***1/2
-My Best Fiend: **1/2
-Days of Heaven: ****
-The Thin Red Line: ***

children with angels

Absolutely ADORE that film!

"Well one thing's for sure: Inspector Clay is dead. Murdered. And SOMEONE's responsible..."  
and
"Your stupid minds! Stupid!... Stupid!"
and
"It is interesting when you consider that the living - who can think, are so afraid of those who cannot: the dead..."


As for my own, I'd have to go with Jurassic Park 3. William H Macy absolutely napalming his credibilty...
(I'm paraphrasing here)

-START OF SCENE-

WILL H: Son: you remeber when we were back home and we used to... go fishing?

SON: Yeah. I do, pop...

WILL H: Yeah... (sighs)... I love fishing.

-END OF SCENE-

[/b]
"Should I bring my own chains?"
"We always do..."

http://www.alternatetakes.co.uk/
http://thelesserfeat.blogspot.com/

cowboykurtis

anything that has been uttered from the mouth of keanu reeves
...your excuses are your own...

phil marlowe

Celeste: What's your name?
Scottie: Scottie.
Celeste: Who are you?
Scottie: I don't know.
Celeste: So, you have amnesia?
Scottie: Maybe.... what's amnesia?
Celeste: Loss of memory.
Scottie: I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure I do.
Celeste: Is there anything that you remember?
Scottie: My name.. Scottie.
Celeste: What about your last name?
Scottie: Yeah... No.. Where am I?
--------------------
days of our lives.

Alethia

doctor: we've found something.  in your head.  were going to have to operate on your brain...
patient: is it serious?

Ernie

All the play dialogue in Rushmore is fucking awesome. I don't know if it's so bad it's good, or if it's just really really really genius.

"Fuhgetabowdit Sanchez, the old man like his cannolis."

MacGuffin

"Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else." - Storm "X-Men"
"Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art." - Andy Warhol


Skeleton FilmWorks

pumba

Everysingle line from daredevil

oakmanc234

*Adam Sandler shoots James Caan in the head*
Sandler: 'That's what you get for trying to make me suck your dick!'

Bulletproof (1996)
'Welcome the Thunderdome, bitch'

cowboykurtis

jasper's secret

jasper: look, you fucking ass fuck.

katie: do not call me that unless youre willing to fuck my ass

jasper: you'd keep your mouth shut if you knew what was good for ya'. now, bend over, so i can show you that i'm not all talk.

katie proceeds to bend over...
...your excuses are your own...

Cecil

Quote from: cowboykurtisjasper's secret

jasper: look, you fucking ass fuck.

katie: do not call me that unless youre willing to fuck my ass

jasper: you'd keep your mouth shut if you knew what was good for ya'. now, bend over, so i can show you that i'm not all talk.

katie proceeds to bend over...

i dont know WHAT the hell that is, but it sounds interesting