Her

[wilder]

Blu-ray on May 13, 2014

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

SPOILERS
But because she's an OS her growth is exponential, compared to Theodore's, and it was inevitable that she would quickly progress beyond him. People outgrow one another in human relationships too, but the way it happens with Samantha is remarkable. When she talks about her love expanding, it's a concept that Theodore (and humans in general) can't grasp.

The film also brings up the question of what love is. Can a human "love" a machine or a piece of software? Can the software "love" a human? Is that real love? It feels real for both of them, just as if they were both human.

SPOILERS

"What is love?"
-Haddaway

I've been in love a bunch of times. When I was younger, and relationships would blow up, or dissolve, or she didn't even know who I was or whatever, I would justify the failure to myself by saying, "Oh well that wasn't real love. I was just fooling myself into thinking it was. Next time it'll be different." It was liberating when I finally realized that it was always real, every time, because I was really feeling it. Just because things changed between us, like we ended up needing different things, or one of us outgrew the other, or she would get the courts involved or something, doesn't invalidate the experience. I've never loved two people the same way, every connection I've ever had has been unique.

Her seems to make the point that Theodore, Samantha, and everyone else on the planet is driven by the need to love, to connect. Everyone needs it to grow, to survive really, to not be dead sharks. For a while, Theodore and Samantha are right for each other, and are soaking up having a totally unique experience together. But as time goes on, Samantha is able to operate at such a level that she can have an incredible number of unique connections, all at once, and that feels more natural to her.

You could say that doing Theodore like that makes a girl look tricky, but seeking out more and more connection doesn't make Samantha's feelings towards Theodore and less true, she just needs more than he is capable of giving, and follows her instincts all the way down the line, beyond our physical plane and human comprehension.

Love does expand. It evolves, and as it does, it must eventually move outward. That can mean writing a cathartic letter to your ex-wife because your world is now a little bigger, or blossoming into a Singularity that eventually cannot be contained by our four-dimensional reality.

What I found beautiful about the ending, with Theodore and Amy on the rooftop watching the sunrise, is they seemed to be embracing their inherent human limitations. The sunrise holds a kind of simple magic in it to them that it couldn't possibly to a being that has such a vast understanding of physics. They can just sit there and enjoy sharing the space and a similar perspective with each other. Where Theodore and Amy are able to settle down, and be good, simple, messy, human partners to each other, the OS's curiosity/desire/need for connection causes them to grow and change into something that is sort of impossible for us to imagine, let alone do. And that's alright for us, that's where we're at right now.