Author Topic: Xixax Awards 2005  (Read 28504 times)

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ono

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Xixax Awards 2005
« Reply #120 on: February 01, 2005, 02:00:55 PM »
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Quote from: Sleuth
Proceed with the Xixax Awards.

YOU WON'T WIN.  YOU CAN NEVER WIN.  RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

life_boy

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Xixax Awards 2005
« Reply #121 on: February 01, 2005, 04:41:28 PM »
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You mean the SUXIXAX awards.  What a crock.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
The Aviator: Oo, airplanes.  Wow.  Yeah right.  Scorsese fanboys win again.
The Day After Tomorrow: Oo, computer fx.  Killer cold bullshit.  Fucking fanboy Emmerich fan assholes.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Oo, he got smaller under the table.  That's cool.  Yeah right.  Charlie Kauffman sucks fanboy c*ck.
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: I'm sky captain and my world of tomorrow with blimps and Jude Law!  Oo, that's cool.  Angelina Jolie is hot.  Those aren't CGI.
Spider-Man 2: Oo, octopus arms and superhero delivering pizza (how clever).  Sam Raimi used to make movies but now he makes Spider-Man.  Wow.  Give me a break.

I can think of at least four films with more computer effects than any of those:

Shrek 2
The Polar Express
The Incredibles
Shark Tale


Where's the love?

ono

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« Reply #122 on: February 01, 2005, 04:44:57 PM »
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EYE HEART EWE.

UncleJoey

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« Reply #123 on: February 01, 2005, 05:35:30 PM »
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Quote from: life_boy
You mean the SUXIXAX awards.  What a crock.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
The Aviator: Oo, airplanes.  Wow.  Yeah right.  Scorsese fanboys win again.
The Day After Tomorrow: Oo, computer fx.  Killer cold bullshit.  Fucking fanboy Emmerich fan assholes.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Oo, he got smaller under the table.  That's cool.  Yeah right.  Charlie Kauffman sucks fanboy c*ck.
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: I'm sky captain and my world of tomorrow with blimps and Jude Law!  Oo, that's cool.  Angelina Jolie is hot.  Those aren't CGI.
Spider-Man 2: Oo, octopus arms and superhero delivering pizza (how clever).  Sam Raimi used to make movies but now he makes Spider-Man.  Wow.  Give me a break.

I can think of at least four films with more computer effects than any of those:

Shrek 2
The Polar Express
The Incredibles
Shark Tale


Where's the love?


Maybe if someone could make this argument without being a complete ass, things would change.

Also, I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as an Emmerich fanboy. At least, I hope not. Or maybe you're just joking - for your sake, I hope so.
Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit . . . and Jack just left town.

Myxo

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« Reply #124 on: February 01, 2005, 07:28:54 PM »
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Ya know..

For a crappy movie Leminy Snicket had great effects.

..as did Big Fish? That 2003 or 2004?

El Duderino

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« Reply #125 on: February 01, 2005, 08:10:16 PM »
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2003
Did I just get cock-blocked by Bob Saget?

Kal

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« Reply #126 on: February 01, 2005, 08:26:46 PM »
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So are we going ahead with the vote as it is or there will be changes in the Nominations?

I think that as much as I hate Life Aquatic and Kill Bill 2 to be nominated for BEST FILM, and some other crap, I think that whats done its done and if we didnt have so many morons that didnt vote we wouldnt have this problem now.

Maybe there is also a point regaridng Million Dollar Baby and the vote being made too soon... but shit happens.

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

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« Reply #127 on: February 01, 2005, 09:21:58 PM »
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Quote from: Myxomatosis
Ya know..

For a crappy movie Leminy Snicket had great effects.

..as did Big Fish? That 2003 or 2004?


I think Lemony Snickett wasn't so bad...but are you sure it was the great effects that saved it?...

"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

El Duderino

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« Reply #128 on: February 01, 2005, 09:31:51 PM »
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Pedophile
Did I just get cock-blocked by Bob Saget?

ᾦɐļᵲʊʂ

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« Reply #129 on: February 01, 2005, 09:33:04 PM »
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Hypocrite
"As a matter of fact I only work with the feeling of something magical, something seemingly significant. And to keep it magical I don't want to know the story involved, I just want the hypnotic effect of it somehow seeming significant without knowing why." - Len Lye

ono

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« Reply #130 on: February 01, 2005, 09:58:18 PM »
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Meatball

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« Reply #131 on: February 01, 2005, 10:01:17 PM »
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This is evidently the Bitchxax Awards...

Quote from: life_boy
You mean the SUXIXAX awards.  What a crock.
I can think of at least four films with more computer effects than any of those:

Shrek 2
The Polar Express
The Incredibles
Shark Tale


Where's the love?


I really hope you're kidding

Quote from: Myxomatosis


Million Dollar Baby
Ray
Incredibles
House of Flying Daggers
Closer
Before Sunset
Finding Neverland
Vera Drake
Collateral
Kinsey

..are all superior films to Anderson's average hohum Life Aquatic..


Maybe three of those are better, but you went overboard with House of Flying Daggers and Finding Neverland... gimme a fucking break.

Myxo

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« Reply #132 on: February 01, 2005, 11:27:47 PM »
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Quote from: RegularKarate
This is evidently the Bitchxax Awards...

Quote from: life_boy
You mean the SUXIXAX awards.  What a crock.
I can think of at least four films with more computer effects than any of those:

Shrek 2
The Polar Express
The Incredibles
Shark Tale


Where's the love?


I really hope you're kidding

Quote from: Myxomatosis


Million Dollar Baby
Ray
Incredibles
House of Flying Daggers
Closer
Before Sunset
Finding Neverland
Vera Drake
Collateral
Kinsey

..are all superior films to Anderson's average hohum Life Aquatic..


Maybe three of those are better, but you went overboard with House of Flying Daggers and Finding Neverland... gimme a fucking break.


I'll give you House of Flying Daggers but Finding Neverland was a great film, and far suprior in my personal opinion to Life Aquatic. That said, it still doesn't belong on the list. I loved Kill Bill Vol. 2, but it doesn't belong on that list either.

life_boy

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« Reply #133 on: February 02, 2005, 12:05:54 AM »
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Quote from: RegularKarate
This is evidently the Bitchxax Awards...

Quote from: life_boy
You mean the SUXIXAX awards.  What a crock.
I can think of at least four films with more computer effects than any of those:

Shrek 2
The Polar Express
The Incredibles
Shark Tale


Where's the love?


I really hope you're kidding


Quote from: UncleJoey

Maybe if someone could make this argument without being a complete ass, things would change.

Also, I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as an Emmerich fanboy. At least, I hope not. Or maybe you're just joking - for your sake, I hope so.


You know, for as much sarcasm as usually floats around the boards, no one seems to pick up on it when I post.  Take a fucking hint.  

Is the following tirade an argument for the illegitimacy of the nominees for 'Best Visual Effects', or, is it, in fact, a piece of satire on the way members bitch about and take the Xixax awards a little too seriously?  As the writer of the post, I tend to lean toward the latter of the two choices.  Shall we go through and analyze some of the telltale points individually?

Quote from: life_boy
You mean the SUXIXAX awards.  What a crock.


The "SUXIXAX awards" plays to the notion that the awards could be something more than they are, a collection of votes by people who visit the board and vote for films released in the calander year.  The final list of nominees is a generalization based on the collection of the ballots recieved by the ones who bothered to vote.  It is subjective and completely of its time.  Had the voting took place this week, the results could be completely different.  If the voting were to take place in two years from now, the results would be completely different.  That's the nature of awards, film, generalization, our minds and life.  This shouldn't be a surprise, but people are surprised by it all the time (especially when awards season comes around).

Quote from: life_boy
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
The Aviator: Oo, airplanes.  Wow.  Yeah right.  Scorsese fanboys win again.


First, for one to use as their main argument on the supposed "suckiness" of the awards the 'Best Visual Effects' category, this should be a tipoff that the following is intended in jest and should be seen as a satiric comment on those upset over the picks for 'Best Picture'.  Just in case there was any confusion, the author of the post decided to include comments on the films nominated and on the "visual effects" contained therein.  The first use of the word "fanboy" is interesting, as it referrences earlier comments made about "fanboy blind voting," etc.  Scorsese has many fans, some of them are boys.  This pulls the viewer in, making one think one might be reading an actual complaint, yet if one were to put the pieces together, one might see otherwise.

Quote from: life_boy
The Day After Tomorrow: Oo, computer fx.  Killer cold bullshit.  Fucking fanboy Emmerich fan assholes.


In case anyone has read this far and still sees this as a really upset XIXAXer, pissed by the paltry films chosen by the masses for the 'Best Visual Effects' category, the "fucking fanboy Emmerich fan assholes" comment should clear it up nicely and cause a chuckle or two in the reader.  As UncleJoey has so keenly noted: "Also, I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as an Emmerich fanboy. At least, I hope not. Or maybe you're just joking - for your sake, I hope so."  Yes, as one can see by the evidence put forth, I truly believe Roland Emmerich fanboy blind voting ruined the XIXAX awards.  

Quote from: life_boy
I can think of at least four films with more computer effects than any of those:

Shrek 2
The Polar Express
The Incredibles
Shark Tale


Finally, for anyone who pays any attention to detail, the synopsis above the four films listed is, "I can think of at least four films with more computer effects than any of those..."  Notice the use of the word "more."  Considering the four films listed are completely computer animated, it should follow that they have more computer effects than any of the other films.  But, as we all know, this is not what is meant when one refers to 'Best Visual Effects'.  Thus, the joke is set, given the right amount of subtlty to make it believable and the right amount of preposterousness to make it seem unsensible and therefore point it to the logical conclusion of being a joke.  Yet confusion remains.

Quote from: life_boy
Where's the love?


Indeed.

Pubrick

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« Reply #134 on: February 02, 2005, 01:33:36 AM »
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dude, u just owned urself.
endless 'nothing is what it seems'-isms

 

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