Nah. I'm done.
And listen. I'm the person who was delighted beyond description when, in Game of Thrones, a protagonist's head was unexpectedly popped like a grape. So yes, shock and gore can be mindblowingly great. I also love being punished or trolled. Funny Games, Dancer in the Dark, give me whatever you've got. As long as you have something to say.
What we saw last night was not great. It was meaningless. And ultimately, this serves as a perfect flash point to fully expose the meaninglessness of the show.
Had these events been wrapped into last season's finale, and executed differently, it might have worked. But this... no. This was the worst episode of television I've seen in a while. It's seven minutes of content stretched so thin that you can see right through it. Jeffrey Dean Morgan's delivery is like someone is accidentally playing a podcast on half speed. Even the "horror" falls flat. The deaths themselves are mostly just tasteless and gross — in this cold and calculating way that immediately triggers resentment.
The show has done everything it has the capacity to do. I struggle to envision TWD offering anything more of value. This premiere — a slow parade of random misery that leaves you with nothing — felt like the series finale. It seems appropriate to treat it as such.