1 . Jarvis Cocker - Over-sexed librarian.
2. Chris Martin - Under-sexed librarian.
3. Moby - He's a vegan, for God's sake!
4. Prince - Wears his mum's knickers.
5. Stuart Murdoch (Belle And Sebastian) - He once cried watching Watership Down...
6. One of Cradle of Filth (doesn't matter which one) - They're grown men dressed as vampires, the wusses.
7. Will Oldham - It's the beard.
8.- Mortiis - Anyone that wears a false nose has got to be easy...
9. Brian Chase (Yeah Yeah Yeahs) - Because people who look like geography teachers can't fight.
10. Thom Yorke - A man born to be bullied if ever there was one.
11- 15 . The Strokes - All of them. At once.
16. Brett Anderson (Suede) - Asking for it, frankly.
17. Fran Heaky (Travis) - The thinking man's punchbag.
18. James Walsh (Starsailor) - The fighting man's Fran Healy.
19-32. The weedy ones out of The Polyphonic Spree - As long as that big fella Roy Ives doesn't step in, of course.
33. Rick Allen (Def Leppard drummer) - With one arm tied behind your back...
BANG Magazine , August 2003.
half of them i could have in a fight
I can have all of BANG Magazine's editors in a fight.
oddly enough, i think the magazine is dead. at least the website is.
i don't agree with all of it(specially the Def Leppard) ... but the cradle of filth one is hilarious...
Speaking of fights:
Guitarist With Rock Group Rush Arrested
NAPLES, Fla. - The lead guitarist for the rock band Rush skirmished with sheriff's deputies, spat blood on one and was arrested on New Year's Eve after his son refused to leave the stage at a fancy hotel, authorities said.
Deputies said they had to use a stun gun on 50-year-old Alex Zivojinovich - known on stage as Alex Lifeson - for what they described as drunken, violent behavior at the Naples Ritz-Carlton hotel.
Zivojinovich was released from Collier County jail Friday afternoon. Also arrested were his son Justin Zivojinovich, 33, and his son's wife, Michelle Zivojinovich, 30.
Gerry Berry, an attorney representing the Zivojinovichs, declined comment and referred all calls to SRO Management in Toronto. A telephone message left with SRO was not returned Friday.
Justin Zivojinovich said deputies broke his father's nose.
The son said he went on the stage where the house band was performing so he could sing.
"I was singing Happy New Year's, that's all I was doing, singing to the whole crowd. That's all I said, 'Happy New Year,'" Justin Zivojinovich said. "Everyone was enjoying themselves. That's when someone apparently started yelling for one of the security guards. There was no violence on our part."
According to authorities, the scuffle began when Justin Zivojinovich refused to leave the stage.
The guitarist spat blood on a deputy's face and pushed a deputy down a hotel stairwell during the struggle, a police report said.
Justin Zivojinovich disputed that account, saying the deputy tumbled down the stairs as she pushed the guitarist down the stairwell.
Charges against Alex Zivojinovich include aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting an officer with violence, and disorderly intoxication.
From the content and tone of the list, I'm guessing Bang is one of those retarded Maxim/"lad's mag" type things? Phooey on that. Jarvis Cocker and Brett Anderson are lithe and wiry- surely able to beat the exhausted, fat chronic masturbators of Bang any day. Brett could beat them on the ass with a microphone, and don't they know about Jarvis's new "Billy Jack" incarnation. Also, Stuart Murdoch is a surprisingly tough motherfucker when provoked...